Reflection

So yeah, I like wandering around downtown as a means of relieving stress, that's certainly not a new revelation. During my recent meanderings, I've begun to notice something new: all the high-functioning go-getters in the city, you know, productive members of society kind of thing. Of course that's nothing new; the downtown core is where all the business is at, so, unsurprisingly, there is where one would find all these type-A's.

And then I look at myself, who I am, what goes through my mind, and one thing consistently goes through my mind: "Who is this girl I see, staring straight back at me?" (ok, I don't consistently think of the Mulan song but it just happened to pop into my head today, as I was looking into a mirror, in the midst of all these perfunctory thoughts; also, feel free to replace "girl" with any derogatory term that would fit your fancy).

I'm not that. I can't talk on the phone like that guy in the suit, fully convinced of whatever he's trying to push, or that guy walking confidently down the sidewalk in his well thought-out costume plus sunglasses. I mean, I could wear a pretty shirt or walk like a normal person but that'd be it, it'd just be some external piece covering an internal reality that is really disparate in quality.

And I'm sitting here, typing all these words out, and don't really know what to do, as fucking usual, I guess. lol...